I knew this day would come eventually, but I can't say I'm prepared. I am now the shortest household member, barring the animals, of course. It is a very odd moment to be looking eye-to-eye with a 13 year old. How did my barely 14" long preemie turn into a strapping 5' 8" teenager!? Wasn't it just yesterday I was suctioning snot out of his nose? The equilibrium is shifting and I find that the parental tether just gets more stretched out with each passing week. Three weeks ago, I was still a 1/4" taller than Logan, today I am more than a 1/4" shorter. How tall will he be next month! I can barely keep up with the outgrown jeans and shoes now, not to mention the quantity of food that gets inhaled every time he passes through the kitchen. Poor guy hobbles like an old man, his joints are so gelatinous from growing so rapidly. For whatever reason, Quinn is on a more moderate growth pace. He's definitely inching up, but he doesn't seem to sprout an inch in a month like Logan. He's the "slow and steady" kind of grower, the kind that creeps up on you, like, "whoa when did you become 5' 7"?" Logan literally walks out in the morning looking taller than he did when he went to bed the night before. While I look up at my children in amazement, I also feel a tinge of sadness. Where has the time gone? The fog of parenting tends to shroud one's vision and when the haze clears I realize the game has changed and the rules shifted. I feel as if I parent in lag-time. My brain hasn't caught up to the fact that what worked a year ago doesn't hold sway today. I need to shake off this cloak of denial and look Quinn and Logan in the eyes (while I still can) and tell them how much I love them and trust them and how proud I am to be their mum. I may be the shortest but my love for them expands daily and I can only marvel at the young men they are becoming. From holding them in my palms after their birth to being out-sized by them only 13 years later, I'm trying to take it all in and adjust to this new reality of physical mass. They're growing up and out, and I'm going to do my best to be here now, just after I go buy some new jeans to fit these ever growing boys...
