Wednesday, November 23, 2011


Today is one of those days that if I owned a Snuggie, I'd be cuddled up in it right now. It is pouring down rain and really all I want to do is sip tea and read. Of course, that isn't on my agenda at all as we are needing to hit the road in less in a few hours to head to my parents for Thanksgiving. Before we leave there is still packing to be done, fish to feed, laundry, and payroll checks to be written. Which is precisely why I am now deciding to write a blog entry after not having done so in months. This folks, is what procrastination looks like. Fortunately I didn't develop such habits until after graduating from university.

Actually, I wish I hadn't procrastinated on keeping this blog-thing going because there is much to write about, but when so much gets back logged, it seeps out in totally convoluted ways and the end result is nothing like I want it to be. What stories could be so interesting you ask? Well, there is the whole identity thing we're witnessing Quinn and Logan go through as twins. Super fascinating. Then there is contemplating a relocation to a different country. Another great story. The new chapter of adolescence that the boys have entered. Wow, is that good material. Will I touch on any of those right now? No. I'll instead fill this page with dribble. Sorry. I promise I will get to the good stuff, and sooner than later. In the meantime, I'll leave you with a teaser.

As a non-twin, I can only imagine what it would be like to have an identical twin. Actually, when I was younger my good friend Simone and I would play that we were identical twins. Our play names where Lisa and Lacey (can you tell we were children of the 70s!) We were absolutely fascinated by the idea of going through life with another person who looked just like you! We thought that if we could be such good friends without being related, imagine what being part of an identical pair would be like. Eventually we grew out of those make-believe games, but my fascination with twins didn't wane much, so imagine my surprise when I found out I was pregnant with twins. Actually, I was more stunned than surprised, but that is a whole other story.

The Cliff-notes version of the boys years from birth through pre-adolescence has been one of sameness with moments of trying to be individuals. Now that they've hit full-blown adolescence, where their identities are really taking shape, we're yet again fascinated with how they try to differentiate themselves from one another. For the first time in their young lives they are pursuing different activities. Up until now they've both been involved in either fencing or ballet. In one of the many books we've read on twins, we learned that it isn't unusual for identical twins to pursue similar interests. They are, after all, genetically identical, which is why they often have the same interests, especially when young.

Logan decided at the beginning of this school year to discontinue dance and instead joined the Rowing club. I would like to take a momentary break and give a shout-out to all those families who have kids of different ages involved in different sports. It's a total pain in the ass to need to be in one place for one kid and in another place for the other, usually at the same time, because that is how the universe likes to mess with you, and I admire those families who have figured out how to be in two places at the same time. Okay, back to main story. So Logan is enjoying crew and this autumn the crew teams traveled all around the Pacific Northwest for regattas. On one of our drives home from a regatta we asked Logan what he thought about doing something without Quinn around. He responded that it was okay, but mostly it was weird because people knew him as just Logan, not LoganQuinn. He elaborated that he'll ask his teammates if they know who he is, and after giving him a quizzical look they'll reply, "Yeah, you're Logan, why?" He said that his entire life he's had to explain that he is Logan and NOT Quinn. Or he's constantly having to say which one he is because people ask, "Are you Logan or Quinn?" Logan said it feels a little weird to not have to go into any further detail about who he is, he's just Logan, end of story. The following weekend we traveled to another regatta and this time we made Quinn join us so he could see what his brother was doing and be supportive. Apparently no one on the crew team knew that Logan was a twin because all morning different teammates kept going up to Quinn (thinking he was Logan) and telling him he needed to get in uniform and be down at the boats. Quinn was relaying these funny stories to me and another mom and was in the middle of telling us about one kid who actually started eating food off his plate, at which point the coach came up to him and said, "Logan I need you down at the boat now, you're on the water in 10 minutes!" I think this is when I snorted coffee out my nose from laughing so hard.

So this is what the boys are going through. They are figuring out how to stand on their own without the constant security of the other around. I am happy they are starting to practice this now and not experience separation for the first time when they go away to college (assuming they go to different universities.) Also, you read about those socially awkward adult twins who still live together in their 70s and never married and just have cats and birds. Not that I think Quinn and Logan would ever tolerate living together that long, but hey, if they don't know how to be apart, it could happen. Funny stories aside, I do wonder what it is like to go through some of the most challenging formative years as an identical twin. On the one hand I think it could make it easier, and on the other, even more difficult. The age old question of "Who am I?" becomes even more spotlighted as an identical twin. I will say that even as the mother of identical twins, I am still equally fascinated and mystified by twins and can't believe the good karma points I accrued somewhere to have the privilege of parenting twins. Even though I still call Logan Quinn and Quinn Logan, I know that they each stand on their own but have the comfort of the other, just like a Snuggie.